Ada yg aneh semalam: saya tak bisa tidur sampai pagi. Padahal kemarin itu saya lelah sekali. Sudah saya coba pejamkan mata berulangkali, tetap saja terjaga lagi. Saya tidak merasa punya masalah apapun yg sampai membuat saya sulit tidur seperti itu. Rasa tidak nyaman itu terasa familiar… I feel both gifted and cursed to have that kind of instinct. Then I found out… God was trying to show something to me. Something that supposed to injure me, but amazingly I barely feel hurt. Reaksi yg jauh berbeda saat saya beberapa kali mengalami hal yg sama lebih dari 1 thn lalu. Pada masa itu, keesokan harinya saya pasti tak mau bertemu orang lain karena malu mata bengkak & sembab. Tapi pagi ini, saya bahkan bisa sumringah bertemu banyak teman & kenalan baru di acara sarapan bareng menteri komunikasi & IT. In fact, there’s no tears. At all.
Jealousy relates closely to insecurity. When you feel secure, you seldomly feel jealous. Instead, you MAKE people jealous.Look at those premium fashion items such as Hermes & LV. Did you ever see they discounted their price? And do they ever legally sell their original items outside their official stores? No. But why rich people keep on buying the items that worth a car for a bag? Coz they can afford it! And yes, they actually dont buy a thing; they pay for quality, brand, trust, and of course, prestige. That’s where I’m positioning myself in. I build strong personal brand, gain trust, be on the same level with my partner or even more. I wont beg for attention (no more!) and not feel intimidated by any other competitor. Jadi jika dulu saya merasa marah, sedih, kecewa mendapati kenyataan yg tidak menyenangkan ini, sekarang saya justru merasa kasihan… I pity those who discounted their price (i.e. Lowering Self-pride, obral harga diri :p) just to be with the ones they dont belong to. And I feel sorry for those who dont know what they got till it’s gone. Ada gula ada semut, tapi semut tak kan berani mendekat jika gula memproteksi dirinya dengan rapat. Entah berada dalam toples tertutup, atau dikelilingi kapur anti semut. Loving you, doesn’t mean I can’t leave you… Don’t wait until you lost your family to finally realize that they’re the most precious thing in your life :) xoxo <3