A reflection on how sibling rivalry transforms into lifelong friendship.
Maybe peace among siblings doesn’t come from parenting manuals, but it comes from patience, perspective, and knowing when to step out of their way." — Nuniek Tirta Sari
My husband and I went to a campus open day with my youngest, had an early lunch with her, and while she practiced for a stage performance, we sneaked off to the mall for some grown-up time.
We ended up hunting “broken sizes” at Uniqlo; that magical rack where treasures appear if you’re lucky. And I was. Found the last top bra in my favorite color. Just one piece left, as if they had reserved it for me.
Then we tried Popeyes, which apparently reinvented into a Kyochon-style fried chicken restaurant. Turns out it was surprisingly good. So good I immediately declared, “We’re bringing the kids here next time!”
To wrap up our mall date, we watched Keanu Reeves’ new movie Good Fortune. I’ll be honest: it was a bit cheesy. Okay, very cheesy. But somehow it carried sweet moral lesson: that true happiness isn’t found in wealth or luck, but in gratitude, empathy, and the way we connect with others.
At night, we had dinner as a family, the four of us, talking about the girls’ future plans, their dream campuses, and new projects they’re building together.
See, my daughters (now 17 and 19) have been working on a small collaboration. The youngest creates products, the oldest designs the illustrations for her branding. They brainstorm, support, and cheer each other on like they’re best friends. Watching them work side by side makes my heart full every single time. Because honestly, it wasn’t always like this.
When they were little, everything was a competition. They even fought over a piece of plastic trash, literally. Every small thing could turn into a civil war. But to be fair, they stopped fighting quite early. As far as I remember, the rivalry had already faded by the time they were in elementary. Looking back, I think most of their arguments happened when they were still toddlers and couldn’t express themselves well with words.
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| My cute little babieesss <3 |
I used to wonder if sibling rivalry ever truly ends; or if parents just get better at pretending it doesn’t bother them. But looking at them now, laughing and planning together, I realize it can end. Not magically, not overnight, but through slow, quiet shifts in how we, as parents, handle their differences.
Here’s what I’ve learned, not from a parenting book, but from trial, error, and a lot of deep breaths:
Learning about the MBTI instrument also helped us so much! It made us understand our daughters’ personalities on a deeper level, and that understanding changed the way we parented them ever since. Over time, the rivalry melted into respect. The teasing turned into inside jokes. The competition turned into collaboration.
Now, when I watch them brainstorm at the dinner table, creating sketches and branding ideas, I realize this is what we all want as parents: to see our children not just coexist, but genuinely like each other.
They don’t even remember most of their old fights. It’s as if all the childhood noise has faded into the background, replaced by laughter, shared Spotify playlists, and dreams they actually root for together.
I guess peace between siblings doesn’t come from parenting strategies or family meetings. It comes from time, patience, and the freedom to grow into their own people.
As for me, I’ll take days like this anytime. A simple mall outing that ends with Uniqlo sale shopping, chicken wings, a cheesy Keanu Reeves movie, and the realization that my kids actually get along.
And maybe that’s what gratitude really means: not just being thankful for what you have, but realizing that the small, ordinary things you once wished for are finally happening quietly, right in front of you.